AHH! OKAY. I did nothing at all today. NOTHING. My home is no longer a place for me to study or do my homework. It has rejected me. No. It has pulled me into another realm. Into the realm of idling. Nothing is done at home. Man. The other world is calling out to me.
Oh well.. just thought I should apologise? haha sorry. But im trying, seriously! Haha. Oh man.. Need a medicine to cure this illness of laziness. heh.
He knows nothing when he thinks he knows everything.
He acts normal when his heart says otherwise.
He despairs upon the sight of the doubtful truth.
He shouts to the sky like as if the air particles are the only ears.
He cries out to the ocean like as if only the crushing waves will be able wash away his sorrow.
He dreams that he will protect everyone like a guardian angel.
Little did he know, he is the one that is being protected all the time.
He turns his back to only see his friends, always there for him.
But the other side of him only drags him furthur away from his friends.
Where will he go, he doesn't know.
Where will he end up to, the destination is still unknown.
i lost you,,
2:44 PM
Hahaha. Newspaper collection today was tiring BUT fun! haha. Took over Joash position as the lorry IC.. Haha. Made friend with the lorry uncle.. xD He is super friendly! haha.. Well started off with distribution of rations to the labourers(the J1s). =p.. haha started loading newspapers straight away after rationing. Poof.. the loading and unloading of the newspapers are super tiring.. But fun! haha. My right arm bicep even cramped for the first time.. solid ar.. haha.. Well in between the collections, there were so many phone calls from teachers, CG chairmans, Clothing lorry IC..... so confusing.. haha.. around 11am is like the peak hour.. So many phone calls and everything was like so rushing... tiring.. haha.. done with my sector at 12.05 haha. Just when we are unloading our newspapers.. the boss came and told us to assist another lorry(Chongsian and Ivy).. so yea.. we went haha.... just when we are done collecting, finished unloading at the college and thought our work is done, we are yet again assigned another task.. haha.. but we took another lorry.. (haha uncle you are being saved from work!).. well this time collecting with Jeff and Sandy.... done collecting at around 2+... poof... finally work is done.. haha... tired... fatigued..
Went home to wash up and have lunch first before going to church to study with nicholas and jeff.. haha. Well wanted to take a short 5-10mins rest/nap.. but well... fell asleep.. hahaha. Suppose to meet at 4.30.. woke up at 5pm. hahaha. so tired la... Rushed there and reached at 6pm.. lol waited half an hour for the bus.. so long... haha..Hmm did normal distributions... only do until qn 5.. little achievement.. haha.. too tired to do work.. my body feel like falling apart... hahaz.. Went to eat BoonTongKee for dinner and go BK to have hershie sundae pie and study some more.. Went home around 11+...oh yea.. met the tpjc chem teacher from RJC.. haha. Gave us the stunned look..
Under the bright night, free of clouds.
Yea that's how it should be. Feelings should never be confined to one, its free to all.
i lost you,,
2:56 PM
Bah... in the end played the whole afternoon thanks to cr.. lol. Well he came my house just to satisfy his deprivation from BF2142... and well you know, played the whole afternoon. For me? I played my PSP and Viwawa for the whole afternoon hahaha. So super lucky today!! My PSP Final Fantasy 7 char lvled like 6 times in a mission XD!!! As for Viwawa.. HAHA.. keep getting good cards for bridge and choosing the right partner XD!!! Really a lucky day haha..
Tuition.. hah dont know what i learn also... went home 10+.. lol so late... well shld be fine since saturday can wake up early... BUT CANT TMR! Have to go do some newspaper collecting thing.. wham.. hah hope i can wake up on time. Better do..
Those who are born with wings
aren't monsters
Those wings symbolises freedom
... their freedom
i lost you,,
2:48 PM
Whew.. took a nice hot bath just now... haha.. Went to run along the opera estate - ECP connector.. not sure how long is that.. 2.4km hopefully? hahaz.. cool.. rather nice running at night.. pretty cooling... Maybe i should go running like this daily... can train up! haha... my legs are like so pumped up just now.. solid ar! haha..
Well.. quite a long day today in school.. Nothing much really happened except that someone kinda exploded during lesson.. haha. well relax ya?.. and dont be so pessimistic of life.. the whole world aint laughing at you..
Learn from regrets and guilt, and turn them into strength to move on and not make the same mistakes again.
gahahaha my bro is finally got the letter for enlistment to army! xD.. June or July cant remb.. haha.. glhf.. hehe
Your love it broke my fall
It’s more than enough and I need it
Cause I’ve never known better
And I’ll never know better
i lost you,,
1:46 PM
haha. Just reached home from dinner yea.. Results... "Good" thats what Mr. Tan said haha. "But he is quite inconsistent in his work... I even have to make him stand in class for not doing work... his results always fluctuates especially the test in between major exams... he needs to work more on his econs and GP" haha. Oh well those were some of the comments that he gave. lol.. A night of reflections, thoughts, memories, laughter, joy, sorrow, regrets, resolve, hope, change and the other side of me.
Well guess have to work more now.. power up kenny! haha. Forget everything else. Blindfold me. Let my eyes not fool me.
i lost you,,
1:40 PM
One month have passed.
Bleagh. Dont know why I feel so screwed up since saturday. Its like living each day is just a burden to life. Saturday wasnt that bad.. At least the day was more of a slack day haha. Sunday was complete dreadful. Tried to study and do econs. I took close to 2 hrs just to write copy 1 essay? How slow is that. And I took like 6 hrs to study econs writing practice essay? How dumb I can be.
Maybe its because of the econs that is making me so dreadful of life - I have to copy 10 times or effectively 20 essays. How tough can it get? Thats like so much.. Haiz. and just because I missed by a mere 1 mark to pass. Oh well..
Today... Woke up feeling so tired and lazy to go school... But you know, being a good boy.. haha=p.. Oh gosh.. My parents really think Imma over-stressing myself. Thanks to Nicholas yesterday, who told my mum that im dying and ask her to please motivate me to study.-,- On my way to school in my dad's car, my dad was like telling me to dont study too much and I should go play some computer games. He even asked why I stopped playing computer games recently(which i just realised too.. at least less often).. Im like okay.. haha cool.. But I see the concern there haha. thanks dad =)
Sorry if I disappointed you. But I really gonna do my best for econs. and of course my other subjects too! haha. from now on imma gona work hard too. must. but its just so difficult
And thanks WeiJie! haha. For sending and letting me listen to Christians songs when I need them so badly. Thanks for reminding me of your grace and love. Thanks for saving my soul from drowning
i lost you,,
1:00 PM
TIRING DAY. Very... Disappointed.Disappointed.Disappointed.Disappointed.Disappointed.
Well, in the end I couldnt play in any of the matches for the squash team. Which I am seriously very disappointed... kind of... Put me in a squash team but I cant do anything to help. Except for referee-ing?... how slack... how pathetic... Want to do something but you just cant. Oh well, I cant make any difference anyway. How can I win when even they cant win? Absurd. Just like catching a dream that is so far away.
The reason I couldnt play was because im the number 8 in the sign up list... or smth like that.. unless the players seriously cant make it for match then am I allowed to play or so.. And the reason why I end up in number 8 when im suppose to be number 5 was because I told them I cldnt go for the first match on wednesday was because of the 12x100 sport heats and interact.. haiz.. Regrets? Maybe
I think now I understand how =[DA]=RecruitNoob felt during our clan friendly against [FFF]. None of us were willing to give up our space for him to try and take part in the match. Selfish arent we? We hurt to protect our selfish dreams.
Ugh.. IRRITATING COACH. Feel so neglected. Feel so irritated. First thing. Coach never came down and support/coach us for any other matches EXCEPT for today which is the last day for our match. Second thing. Coach didnt told us he was coming today to watch us and also to give Royston his racquet back from re-stringing. If he told us he was coming, WE would have put Roystan to play last, hopefully by the time getting his racquet to play! Instead, we place him the first player to play and he was so not used to the other racquet and didnt really performed! Third thing. Coach came down when we already lost 3 out of 5 sets. Like coming at that time is gonna make us win huh. Gosh. Look at other school teams. Their coaches are always there, observing matches and giving advices to the players. Look at ours. Came down only when we lost and out of the competition. Came down only when already lost 3 out 5 sets. How supportive. How helpful. But at least you came down once. And im a little grateful to that.
Well at least I did had fun there. And trained alot there too. And I've learnt many things too. like its not only about ur skills and physical fitness. Its about your will too. Its not only just simply telling yourself "I've got to win this". Its something more than that. Having the will to win a match really pushed me to the limit and somehow made me stronger. Thats what I learnt during today training. I somehow wanted to play for today match very badly. And kinda trained real hard for it before the match, hoping I may get the chance to get in, which sadly didnt. But I really learnt something meaningful there and improved. Thanks. =)
PW results. Well got B. Kind of expected around there or lower. Well. Good job my group! And thanks Mr. Ng for guiding us! Your guidance really helped us alot. Without you, I think we may get more worse results haha.
AND Grats BRO. He got into the top 10 student in his engineering school. Haha... Smart boy. =) You just gave me another reason to chase and keep running.
And I thank God for giving him a chance. At least his future isnt ruin. But now, lets pray that the college wont impose the most harsh punishment on him. I thank thee for answering mine and my fellow faithful friends prayers.
Well they are back.
How long can I last?
i lost you,,
2:12 PM
Guess the story is out. Everyone knows what happened now, at least for the whole class. Surely it was a silly thing to do. But, will they give him a chance? I hope so... Just this single silly event, its gonna ruin his future. Its just so not worth it. Not at all. Really hope he will be given a second chance.
But if I were in the principle's shoe.. Actually, I think I may also consider to expel too. Ironic? yea.
Ahh.. tomorrow is PW result release. Wonder how will I do? Oh well, just pray for colourful results for everyone. =]
i lost you,,
1:12 PM
Bleagh.. so tired now... haha.. my headache sort of came back just now... better slp soon.. gah.. cant even do a single tutorial today..
Today during the GP remedial lesson.. we read on article about WILLPOWER! Haha. Yea cool stuffs.. Kinda liked the passage.. Willpower have its capacity.. Willpower can be trained.. Willpower can just die out on you.. So agree with the point that you may have the willpower to finish the first task, but you may not have the willpower for the second task. So agree with the point that you may have the willpower to do task A but it will jeopardise the willpower to complete task B.
Haha. So where is my willpower allocated to? Certainly not that anymore. Probably my willpower is dying now.. haha
Where can we find our willpower back?
How can we find our willpower back?
haha.
Need a motivation.. need a resolve.. need an oath..
okay imma off to bed... tired..
i lost you,,
2:23 PM
First half of my day.. is seriously.. utter.. boredom.. Spent my time sleeping, going online.. or just simply rotting at home with the heavy head of mine.
Well the other half.. I decided to stop rotting at home and went out for a walk! Haha. I dont know where I was walking to.. had no destination, just wandering around. I walked and walked and walked... eventually found myself in Bedok Library! Hahaha. Strange right? What a wierd place for me to be in. I have no idea how I ended up in library anyway. Well, went thru ALL the bookshelves on the first and second floor and randomly reading book titles instead of the book itself. Haha. And just when Imma gonna go to the children section, I met Marcus! LOL. What coincidence. Well he was on the way home from college and dropped by the library to borrow a book. Wow.. didnt know he is such a reader. lol. Well, had nothing to do so I went to his house. Haha. Had dinner at one of the kopitiam near his house.. WAaa.. Awesome stuffs.. Awesome pasta, awesome western food and awesome korean bbq!!! Hahaha. Had pastas for dinner.. Had some spaghetti while he had some italian name thats like lasagne but isnt.. haha.. super nice xD
Went off to continue wandering around after dinner. haha.. maybe I was hoping to meet another person again? hahaha. well head back home around 9+..
Argh.. my headache is coming back again... zzz.. terrible.
Its the sweetness of life. Not the age. lolx
Forget everything else and smile at what is ahead.
i lost you,,
1:10 PM
Argh... Woke up having an EXCRUCIATING painful headache.. and a little giddy too.. end up not going to school.. sighz... but feeling much better now.. just that my head is a little heavy.. haha
and HAPPY BIRTHDAY SANDY!
hahaz. paiseh.. delayed the present delivery. lol..
i lost you,,
1:48 AM
Bleaghz.. Tiring day... haha. Ran 2.4km today! Haha. FAiled miserably. Looks like there's alot to catch up with. Need to train up my stamina and my flexibility... haha sit and reach - worst nightmare. Always barely make it. haha.. Other stations... also must improve hahaha.. Guess I should dedicate my time now to work outs xD..
Ah man... Need to copy the Economics case study correction FIVE TIMES by friday.. lol.. Honestly, I feel that its kinda childish... but.. zz.. hahaz do just do lo.. Wonder if we can really learn from this way.. or maybe just another waste of time.
haha my dad's car GPS is retarded! hahaha. ok la its just spoilt for some unknown reason. Its like when he came back home to fetch us out for dinner, I look at the GPS map and we are in the middle of Lower Seletar Resevoir. xD. Then when I ask him "erm..why are we in the middle of the resevoir that is like so far away" And he replied "Wa you come in straight away can see my GPS spoil ar? Aiyo shameful shameful.." and he go change the navigation map to other menus.. And Im like LOL? Ok hahaha. A little wierd there.. but haha cool..
Just as there is light and shadow, there is joy and sorrow.
i lost you,,
3:09 PM
