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Saturday, August 27, 2005

Well, did not do anything much in IT. Did not discuss much about our SVA. =/ Thanks Mr Sul for those encouraging words and Dawn, for trying to cheer me up and for that verse. Well, this is really rare for me to get into this mental state. Don't know what's wrong with me too. Sorry if I showed cold attitude.

Haiz. Lets get this straight. I will never say out my problem, even if you all say I would feel better. To me, its the opposite. I don't like people to worry about me anyway. For i find it useless to worry a guy like me. Ain't worthy for your worries and sympathy. You can say Im actually kind of a introvert, which i think is pretty much true. Well, that's me.

But still, thanks guys. You guys are great. Must be happy =] Or at least, trying to...

Ain't worthy for anyone...


i lost you,,
1:04 PM



In school now. Haix. I think i did very badly for my A maths. Lost about more than 10 marks. Wasted too much time proving identities. Really regret. Just pray i get at least an A2 for A maths. Still, really bothered me alot. Well, here comes to the shock. I thought i did very badly for my E maths. But it turn out that I did it pretty okay. Really shocked. 41/50. Really glad, but A maths still bother me. But the worst shock was my Chinese. Really failed very very badly. Didn't really expected it to be so poor. Really very sad now. Went thru lots of thoughts during the lesson. Maybe now, I will just heck care my chinese. Shall concentrate on other subjects. Maybe chinese is never mine to pass. Will just fail all the way no matter what. Haix.

But during the Prayer cell, Xiu Xuan and Dawn reminded me that we should not be sad and worry about it. We should be filled with Joy, live by the Spirits. Gal 5:24-25 . It says : But the fruit of the Spirit is Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and self-control. Yea, God's words are Awesome. Must be happy no matter what. For God created this day for us. =]

Got to get back to IT. Sorry Dawn, Lisa and Julian for worrying. Thanks too anyway.


i lost you,,
4:54 AM


Thursday, August 25, 2005

Screwed my E maths paper today. Lost about 10 marks. And the Bio paper was easier then expected. Wasted my time studying Bio, could have use those time to revise my E maths. =/ Really regreted studying Bio the whole day yesterday and not revising my maths. Haix. Anyway, just pray i still get an A1 for E maths. Haha.

Got back English and Chemistry paper today. English was really expected so didn't bother much. But Chemistry was really way low my expectations! Thanks to the bunch of careless mistakes. Really irritating. Was fuming at myself during Chemistry lesson. All the careless mistakes were really dumb... Hate it. Hope my Physics will do well.

Haiz, until now, I don't know why I still hold grudges against you. Can't really its grudges but I just find it difficult to talk to you. I thought I've forgiven you, but guessed i have not. Sometimes, your presence pissed me off. That's really bad. Really sorry though. It was only because of those incidents that made me lost Trust in you and made me who I am now. Haiz, must have a Forgiving Heart. I just pray that I will truly forgive you one day. =]

Back to studies now...


i lost you,,
12:03 PM


Sunday, August 21, 2005

Just got back from cell outing. Went to Pizza Hut and had a really really great feast. =D 4 Pizzas, 4 Lagsania, Chicken wings, onion rings, garlic bread and bowls of chicken soup! Hahas. Really great there. Went to Gelare later and ate ice cream. That is my first time tasting such a great ice cream. Could devour all of them in the fridge. =/ Anyway, chatted and sang song there. Enjoyed. When its close to ten, Gabriel talked about how he think about our cell. We must really try harder. =/ Walked back to Church with Gabriel and a member of my cell whom i later found out he is also named Jerral or Gerral(Whopz, I don't know how to spell. Sorry!) Apparently he wanted to change church and he was seeking Gabriel advice or comment about it. Gabriel said that our cell could have like 20 people right now, but we let people slipped pass. People come and leave. Guess there is really something wrong in our cell. =/

Haix, anyway walked all the way back to Church and continued to chat. Was partially deaf just now i guess. Didn't heard Sihua and Dawn screaming my name. =P Took me awhile to hear someone shouting my name and only realised it was them when Lucas told me. Then later Gabriel told me to go home, Lucas told me to accompany Sihua. And so, I was standing there don't know what to do. After some 'discussion', I went to accompany them. But wasn't welcomed by them -,- Fine lor. Went back home after they board their bus. Had some strange thoughts while walking home. Hmmm, very distracting. If only it could be cleared once and for all...


i lost you,,
2:38 PM


Saturday, August 20, 2005

Just finished sending the Campus Moblog updates to Mr. Sulaiman. Was really eye straining and took me exactly one whole hour to write the updates. Got to go through about nearly 300 comments... Really tired now. Yep anyway, school was as usual anyway. Had our E maths class test and History common test. Prayed before the test. Hope I did alright. Had prayer cell later. Prayed for one and the others. Was great. Prayed for Elfie and Meina. We must stay strong and do not let the fire be extinguished. Anyway, went to IT later. Yea, discussed SVA through Campus Moblog, killing two birds with one stone. Well, things were really messy at the start and I had to reorganize alot of stuffs. Well, Mr Sulaiman said that he expected SVA Team 1 to be better then us, Team 2. =/ Doesn't matter... I just hope that we will prove that we can still be better then them. Tee Siang really got to learn how to lead us and Michelle really got learn to talk more. Two weakness i point out from my group i guess. Really no offence though, just opinion and view.

Well after IT I went straight home and changed. Went to church to watch The Days of Noah! Starting of the show was quite boring though, but at the middle to the end, things really get more interesting. A great show really. The Chinese were very funny though, they are like comedians of the show. They do and say lots of silly things and the Chinese pastor who climbed the mountain always smile. Even when his friend got breathing difficulties...he still smiles -.- Anyway after the show, Dawn Sihua and XX really went crazy and said lots of really wierd stuff to me. Gave the dumb look as always. They were really out of their mind. Anyway, I was treated as a bookshelf for them. They threw all their books on me. =/ Went to SPC and bought some stuff. Later waited for them at the bus stop. And yea, if you are reading this, and you want to know my answer. My answer is : Yes, I still do. But I learnt and started to let go...

Doubt the person who asked the question, to even know that im refering to you. Alright gtg... nitez and god bless.


i lost you,,
4:41 PM


Friday, August 19, 2005

Got this new skin, pretty good i guessed. Well, this skin really interested me as it suits me at that time when i found this skin. Was really really down and Lost at that time because of some ... things. "Everyone gets Lost easily, but be strong, you will always still find the Way and the Light at the end of the road." I heard this from my Dream that night. I couldn't figure out who was that person who told me that sentence in my Dream. Was really wierd. Anyway, that was like a few days or a week ago if I recall properly. Yea, it just flashed back into my mind only.

Today, school was fine. Things did go smoothly I guess. supposed to exchange handphone with Nicholas today. But he later didn't wanted to. So we didn't exchange. Went home with Ernest and Fakhrudin. Yea, saw Dawn's sister and dad outside 7 eleven store. Her sister gave the wierd looking face at me again, but wasn't really sure if she was looking at me or maybe she didn't even recognize me. Anyway, got badly drenched in the rain. Reached home drenched and totally soaked up. Went to bath and did my homework. Studied my History awhile then went to play game. Went back to study again soon. Haix, tomorrow got History common test and E Maths class test. Stress. Must study. Failure would means ... oh nothing. Anyway, gtg back to my final History revision. Later guyz...


i lost you,,
1:30 PM


Wednesday, August 10, 2005

hahaz...just reached home.... went to esplanade to watch the fireworks just now... yea... it sure was beautiful... nice aerial displays too... hahaz...yep.. went wif julian and nicholas.... yea...... after the firework.. we went to starbuck... talked loads of crapz dere..hahaz.. den later had dinner together ... yea.. later julian went home 1st at abt 10 plus... coz got curfew... and later i and nick just walked around the esplanade and the bay... yea...talked lots of stuffs dere... the sea breeze was cooling too... yea... great time talking dere dat we didnt even notice the time... spent about almost 2hr talking at the bay.... decided to head home at 1 plus... well.. didnt want to waste money to take taxi...coz its midnite charge now... so we decided to walk home... hahaz.. was really fun...reached nicky house at abt 3.20 if i recall... nicky offered me to stay at his house...but nah... told him i better go home... so i continued my long journey home...hahaz... and now here i am... tired legs... yet active hands typing dis...lol...kk gtg slp...very tired... oh yea... the timing are not exact... its roughly around there... =P


i lost you,,
7:44 PM


Tuesday, August 09, 2005

zzz... had roadrun today... quite fun la... dey say it is more longer den 2.4km... but it seemed so short lor... hahaz... after the roadrun got a little beach cleaning... didnt picked up much though... our beach are just too clean to be true... so i slacked off...zz... yeah.. the rain came soon later... and every1 was dismissed..... was feeling abit wierd....kind of sad or disturbed..i dunno... so i stood under the rain...staring to the sea and sky.... den later julian, jok followed me to some rocky place just by the beach.... it was really windy and at dat time.. it was raining heavily alreadi...thanks guys... dey accompanied me dere and screamt and shouted to the sea.... felt better and great... the strong wind and heavy rain felt great too.... standing under the heavy rain...against the strong winds.... shouting to the sea... its just so nice... hahaz... anyway.. soon we left the area and head back where the others were....man.. we were all soaked and drench under the rain...hahaz.. thanks guys....

well... later followed julian and kelly to marine parade to do some "shopping" hahaz... after kelly went back home.... we went to mr zul house... yay! hahaz..i wanna buy bf2... ='( its so nice... must buy! hahaz... mrzul showed off his skills... yea.. his skills were great... later he let me play awhile... hahaz.. it was so fun... yay... well... soon we left for marina square to watch charlie and the chocolate factory... yep yep... it is really nice... i wana watch again =P hahaz... yea... after the movie, we walked around and later had a mini bdae party for mrzul...lol... a bdae party wif a tiny bdae ice cream... yep.. not bdae cake but bdae ice cream from swensens.. =) hahaz sang bdae song..hurray! lol... yea... later we had dinner at pastamania.... hahaz..

well back home... haiz... made some1 pissed off a moment ago.... yea.. guilty... felt really bad... apologised yet no reply... really freaking guilty....reading her blog just cant help but make me think dat.. i shld just shut up and stop talking crap n stop acting like an idiot... really crazy thought... but luckily she replied later on...yea... was relieved.... but the same feeling came back ... the same as the 1 from the morning after the road run... dis time...the feeling is like much more worst... just dunno how to express it... i really feel very suk rite now...very crap up... hate dis feeling... smth is really wrong wif me... geez... how i wished im freed from dis feeling...darn it... god..help me...

Lost in my Heart, my Mind, my Soul...


i lost you,,
4:40 PM


Wednesday, August 03, 2005

HarLo pplZ. hahaz.. was really tired dis morning... slept in the class... hahaz... fInAlY the play has ended! and my group got the highest mark! yay! hahaz.. was really shocked though... i tot bombay or jan group would get the highest coz their grp really acted very well... wads more i screwed up alot in my grp... but just glad anyway...wahaha! it was fun.. anywayz..after school..alexander edwin jok n me went to singapore post to search for vest, shirt for our AVA in 'This Fashion'.... was really dumb... coz the men section is like so inside the shop... and we got to walk thru so many girl stuffies.... o.o".. embarrassing honestly...wads more we are a grp of guys... hahaz. well we chose a shirt.. was really quite nice... i tried on dem and was making a fool of myself i think... den we spent almost 15 mins taking foto of me in the shirt...LoL ..hahaz fun dere.. lol.. and i think i saw my pri sch fren... the girl really look alike of my fren and so i stared at her... when she noticed me.. she gave me a frightened look and ran to her frenz... loL... i was really embarrased..mayb she was not my pri fren... or maybe she didnt recognized me... hahaz.. dumb eh...


i lost you,,
2:40 PM