As always, I can never understand a person fully. But let me just state some stuffs out. Life is tough, nobody ever said it was easy. Thats why we have to live through it. Regardless of whatever obstacles, we cant stop, we have to move on and be happy.
Fate. If you really still believe in fate, I think you should really reconsider. To me, fate is just an excuse to run away from our problems. Trust me, I used to believe all this fate or fated stuffs. But now, as I view on it, fate is something really stops you from going any furthur. Its like you believe that 'that's your limit', but in actual fact, you can actually pursue furthur. Generally, it does not strengthen a person, but weaken a person.
I may not understand how you feel or what pain you experience. But please, like what Aya-san said "Being alive is such a wonderful thing", cherish you life and live it as happy as you can. Not everyone are able to do that..
